Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Chronicles Of The Impostor: Ep 1 ~ Sepandai-pandai tupai melompat.....

...akhirnya kene bantai juga, err, I mean, akhirnya jatuh ke tanah juga. The problem with uni students is sometime they think they are so damn smart and can get away with anything, but they forget that no one is infallible. I apologize to my dear impostor friend, that you had to wait so long for this entry. So here is episode 1 of my series; I'll just make some deductions from the evidence that has put forth, some very obvious, some less so (and btw, these deductions are based on some assumptions as you'll see later on). And bear in mind people, I already know who the person is, so these deductions are pretty accurate. =)

Let's start off with the most obvious. You're a porn addict, so you must be a guy.

You described Hassan as an "MS champion", thus you are definitely from NUS, and on top of that you're in the MS yahoo groups.

You visited my blog about 80 times a day back when I let you do your nonsense, so you obviously are lonely and have no friends (and thus my blog is your salvation), so you cannot be one of the year 1s (since the year 1 guys are a tight group).

You couldn't cover your tracks properly, so it's safe to say you were not from the police during NS. (of course, I think of those who served in the SPF highly. :p)

You do this when I'm not in Singapore, so you must be in your graduating year; reason being you know that by the time I come back to Singapore you're no longer in school thus I cannot kick your ass.

You don't have enough guts (hence you didn't dare reveal your name), thus you're not from Silat.

You have a problem with MS, thus I'm ruling out all MS members, past and present.

You have no respect for our religion, therefore I'm excluding all those that go the musollas around school.

You have no respect for women whatsoever (obvious from the words you used), thus you probably have laid hands on a girl before.

You have no qualms using vulgarities and insulting others (including your own!) parents, so you must obviously believe in FREE SPEECH (however you define it).

You spelt my name as Wahlid (when it's Walid in Amsterdam!), and there's only 1 person EVER who has spelt my name that way, so you must be.........

Haha. I won't reveal his name in my very first episode lah! If not series end already. :p So let's recap:

Guy, NUS, MS yahoo grps, not yr 1, not from police, graduating year, not from Silat, not from MS, doesn't go to musollas, hit women before, believe in FREE SPEECH. Hmm....Who could it be???

And the plot thickens....

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

whatever it is, we must show compassion and love to this imposter. He must be led to the right path. And since he has no friends and have no utter respect for the elderly and especially women, he has only walid blog as compant. So we must all hand him an olive branch to spread peace among our muslim brothers...

He has no one but us and the One.

so how guys? nak tolong dier tak?

Anonymous said...

Oh yes yes, count me in. I'll be more than willing to 'tolong'. Tolong bantai dia.

Anonymous said...

Eh walid! Kau jangan macam ye-ye lah! Kau fikir aku tak letak name je aku takut pe? Gi belah lah.

Walid said...

Eh Mr Impostor, u're still here? I thought I took out all the trash already. Hmm...

Anonymous said...

Ah.. The light is shining through the clouds and it wont be long before the truth shines in the eyes of many. And so we see and no longer we wait and speculate what will happen next.. No more korek2 just straight to the point sepak2.. Hahaha...

Walid said...

Whoa whoa people, let's not get our emotions running high. As the owner of this family-friendly blog, I have to set the record straight, and give my politically correct reply to Jen and Latiff: violence/threats in any shape or form is not condoned in this blog.

(For those who want my politically incorrect i.e real opinion, nudge me on MSN)

Anonymous said...

haha... wah imposter, "Kau fikir aku tak letak name je aku takut pe?". haha... why not you show us abit of your bravery. tell us who you are then. haha. u have me tergugat there for awhile.

Anonymous said...

Bestnyer got entry for me!
hahhahahaha.

reveal! reveal! reveal!
who is the imposter waHlid jubo-latt?

ahhahahhaha!

ahahhahahaha!

tak tahut lah waHlid jubo-mmm-lat.

cepat lah bilang dinda siapa imposternya. kita bedal sama-sama!

:)

by the way, tak payah approve comment nie dok. as long as i know, kau takut dekat aku, aku happy lid.
ahaha.

Walid said...

Haha, impostor impostor, are u just gonna bark, or will you start biting already?

Walid said...

And patience my friend, all will be revealed. I have 3 more months. What's the hurry? =)

Anonymous said...

OK! aku bite! i tell you who i am! but what is in it for me?
..aku...tak nak..kena...pukul...-sniff- aku takut...kena..bedal..-sniff-
-sniff- -sniff-

Anonymous said...

Good doggie! Akhirnya dengar cakap jugak. So the toothless dog is fixing some teeth finally, or so he wants us to think! Haha.

Mat, jangan banyak berbual lah. Nak reveal kalau, reveal je. Tanak kalau, duduk diam-diam pergi tengok porn. Jangan berbual je macam terror.

Walid said...

Haha.... Sawi, u seem to be a smart guy (im assuming u're a guy), you can read Mr Impostor's moves.

I don't understand though, what's with the "sniffs sniffs"? Is that supposed to make a person look more manly??? Do enlighten me. =)

Anonymous said...

Sawi, kau jgn pandai2 curi nama glam aku eh..

I've been in the rock business since my days with Swing..

heehee..

Walid said...

Haha, hoo ha hoo ha last abuk pun takde. Dah agak punye.

Mr Impostor, I call the shots now. I approve and delete whatever comments I want, no else will know. So too bad for you. Haha.

And, if you wanna give me a personal msg (maki2 etc), just gimme an offline msg or email lah, since u know my email. Haha. U noe i wun approve nonsense comments here.

Haiz, nak cakap bodoh, masuk uni. Nak ckp pandai, muka dgn perbuatan mcm orang bodoh. Hai.

Walid said...

*Directed to my dear impostor*

For a moment (2 secs), I actually thought you were gonna reveal yourself. Haha. Waste my time only reply to your nonsense.

And oh, I suggest, you standby 1 more police report for July. If you get what I mean. =)